Hoe Je Het Uitmaakt Met Iemand Van Wie Je Houdt - 20 Dingen Die Je In Gedachten Moet Houden

2024 Auteur: Cecilia Ryder | [email protected]. Laatst gewijzigd: 2023-12-17 14:21

Uit elkaar gaan is super moeilijk, zelfs als je het uitmaakt met iemand waar je geen seconde meer tegen kunt. Er is echter niets meer verwoestend dan het verbreken van de banden met iemand van wie je nog steeds houdt, of het nu een BFF-vriendje is of een gekke 'ik-hou-van-je-maar-ik-ben-intens-ongelukkig-in-deze-relatie-de-meest-van -the-time 'bae.

Er is geen gemakkelijke manier om dit te zeggen - het is rotzooi. Het is waarschijnlijk een van de moeilijkste dingen die je in het leven moet doen en is moeilijk en emotioneel. Hoewel het niet gemakkelijk is om uit elkaar te gaan met iemand van wie je nog steeds houdt, betekent dit niet dat er geen dingen zijn die je kunt en zou moeten doen om het proces voor jullie beiden gemakkelijker te maken. Het geheim is om eerlijk te zijn en de gevoelens van de ander te respecteren. Hier zijn een paar stappen die u moet volgen om op een gezonde manier uit elkaar te gaan en er sneller van te genezen.

Hoe je het uitmaakt met iemand

1. Denk na voordat u een besluit neemt

Weet je zeker dat je het uit wilt maken? Is dit de beste stap die u kunt nemen? Als je uit elkaar gaat en dan meteen weer bij elkaar wilt komen, wil je partner misschien niet langer in de relatie zitten. Ze gaan misschien denken dat je gelijk had door dingen af te blazen. Zelfs als jullie allebei besluiten om weer bij elkaar te komen, wie kan dan zeggen dat je gevoelens hetzelfde zullen blijven? De schade die hierdoor ontstaat, kan niet ongedaan worden gemaakt. Daarom moet je jezelf wat tijd gunnen om na te denken over waarom je overweegt om uit elkaar te gaan.

Vraag advies aan vrienden en familieleden die u vertrouwt. Onthoud dat een relatiebreuk geen magische pil is om relatieproblemen op te lossen. In feite hoeft u alleen maar een eerlijk gesprek met uw partner te hebben. Denk er eens over na: zijn de dingen die u bereikt door deze breuk groter dan de dingen die u gaat verliezen? Zo ja, dan is een breuk misschien de juiste manier om te gaan.

Als je de problemen in de relatie hebt geïdentificeerd, is het ook belangrijk dat je elkaar de kans geeft om ze te verwerken voordat je uit elkaar gaat. Als u zeker bent van uw beslissing, is het uw taak om uw bae te vertellen over uw grieven en zorgen voordat u de definitieve beslissing neemt. Het zal in eerste instantie je partner pijn doen, maar ze zullen in ieder geval de kans krijgen om de problemen waar je je zorgen over maakt op te lossen. En als je besluit om later uit elkaar te gaan, zullen ze niet verrast worden.

2. Beslis waar u geen compromissen mee kunt sluiten en blijf bij uw besluit

Het is moeilijk om een beslissing te nemen als u niet kunt vaststellen wat er mis is in uw relatie of hoe dit het leven beïnvloedt dat u wilt leiden. Het is belangrijk om te weten wat u uit het leven wilt halen, hoe u anderen en uzelf behandelt en hoe u van anderen verwacht dat ze u behandelen. Bedenk welk advies je zou geven aan een buddy die in dezelfde situatie verkeert als jij.

Als de ene partner kinderen wil en de andere niet, is het erg moeilijk om een middenweg te vinden. Zelfs waar u permanent wilt wonen, kan een reden genoeg zijn om niet te wijken. Je moet je bewust zijn van wat het is en er zeker van zijn dat je je waarheid en leven leeft. We vergeten vaak dat we onszelf meer liefde en zorg moeten geven, of op zijn minst evenveel als we beslissingen over het leven nemen.

3. Ten eerste: Fall Out Of Love In Your Head

Het is een buitengewoon moeilijke beslissing om te nemen. Als je geobsedeerd blijft door de tijd dat je gelukkig was, zul je het niet meer kunnen uitmaken met je vriendje. Maar als je in staat bent om zowel de goede als de slechte tijden te herkennen, zul je een duidelijk idee hebben of je het moet uitmaken of niet. Iets zo gelaagd en complex als een relatie kan heel moeilijk te definiëren zijn met een enkel woord of gevoel, vooral als je probeert alle jaren van samenzijn samen te vatten. Daarom moet je inzoomen.

Reflect on the past and the times you have felt uneasy, uncertain, scared, or betrayed. Focus on the times some part inside you told you something is wrong. Consider why you felt what you felt. If you are sure that it is time to break up, do not focus on the happy moments you have had together. Build up your mental strength and banish the thoughts from your head, or you will go crazy. Focus on the reasons for breaking up with your partner. Once you have made the decision, simply rip off the band-aid – do it and don’t ever look back.

4. Be Ready To Let Go Completely, At Least For A While

If you are 100% sure you want to end things between the two of you, be prepared to have a no-contact policy ready. Do not text them about something funny that happened at work or send them memes. Take some time apart to get a healthy perspective on the breakup and learn from it.

However, if you work together, this may not be an option for you. Maybe you both are BFFs, and the breakup would be a painless transition to being just friends. But don’t just reach out because you are bored or don’t have anybody else to share the news with. Give each other time to heal.

5. Plan What To Do After The Breakup

What are you going to do after the breakup goes through? If you both are living together, you have to decide on who gets to stay and who gets which item. Find out if you have enough money to move out and get a place of your own or pay rent. You need to have supportive people around you who will keep you stable emotionally during this tumultuous transition. Do you have friends or relatives who will take you in for a while if you have to leave but can’t get a place of your own yet?

If you don’t live in, break the news at their house or a public place so that you can leave when you need to. However, if your partner has the tendency to become physically and emotionally abusive, it is best to choose a public place and have a friend nearby. If you feel you could really be in danger, better do it over the phone and change your number and location immediately.

6. Forgive Yourself If You Can’t Make The Cleanest Break

Love is messy, but breakups are messier. Ideally, you should break up in private and give yourselves plenty of time to voice your feelings. If you still love them and they mean a lot to you, you might have a few false breakups – i.e., you will separate and keep getting back together for a while.

You need to forgive yourself for sending the occasional texts – everyone has done it sometime in their life, especially when drunk. Clean breaks are quite rare, so some emotional cycling back and forth is very normal. However, even though you can allow yourself some slip-ups, do your best to stick to your decision.

7. Select The Right Time And Place

If you want to have a smooth break, you need to do it at the right time and place. Not doing it respectfully and properly could make your partner not even want to be friends with you anymore. Unless you both are in a long-distance relationship, do not break up with them over the phone. Unless they could get abusive, don’t break up it in a public place.

It is not easy to be emotionally honest when people are trying to hear what is going on. Avoid breaking up in the middle of an argument because you both may say or do things you will regret. Also, if your partner is in the middle of a health, work, family, or personal crisis, wait for it to be over before you spring this on them.

8. Talk To Your Partner First

Don’t blurt the topic out of nowhere. Send them a message that you want to talk about something serious. It would be much better if you say it directly. You need to do this at least several hours before you break up with your partner. Giving a heads up will let your partner know that something is up.

Help them get emotionally prepared for what they are about to hear. Before calling it quits, you need to ask yourself two questions: ‘Is this relationship irreconcilable?’ and ‘Have you both done all that you can?’ You can also seek counseling if you want to work on this. All serious relationships have rough patches. So, it could just be a rough patch, and you both may eventually get out of it.

9. Don’t Deal With It By Yourself

Breaking up with someone you love can cause a lot of stress, which can lead to drastic changes in your appetite, sleep, and mood. You may feel lonely and a lack of connection. You need to connect with people who love and care for you.

Sure, if you need some space to heal, get it. But retreating from everybody can make you feel even worse. Talk to friends and family – this will not only help you feel more loved and less lonely, but it can also help you learn more from the breakup.

10. Be Kind And Emphatic

It is no doubt tough for you to say, but it is also very tough for them to hear. You should be aware that they will be very shocked and hurt. After all, your lives are about to change in one instant. You need to keep in mind that you will probably be emotional as well. It is not going to be an easy talk. But you are not simply breaking up without a cause, so don’t doubt yourself just because emotions are building up.

To have a more compassionate and kind breakup, tell them that you did not regret the time you spent together. Convey future wishes to your partner and be very nice and genuine. Explain to the person why you want a breakup. Emphasize the good things you both gained from this relationship. Avoid leaving on a sour note or blaming them for the breakup. Convince them that the breakup is good for both of you. Stay positive and empathetic.

11. Make Your Intentions Clear

Don’t try to sugar coat things related to the breakup. Don’t beat around the bush – deliver a direct and clear message. Avoid any miscommunication. Ensure that you have clearly communicated your intentions. Say what is on your mind and be honest. If you intend to hurt the person, the breakup will get all messy.

If your partner has questions, answer them as long as you are not uncomfortable. Keep in mind that you are not breaking up for their good – you are doing it for yours.

12. Speak In A Respectful And Honest Manner

The moment is here. By now, you should know what you want to say. Blurting out the first few sentences can be very anxiety-filled. Take a deep, long breath and wait until you are ready to speak. Look into your partner’s eyes as you bare your heart out. Be assertive. Use more ‘I’ than ‘you’.

Simply concentrating on their mistakes can make them feel worse. It can also backfire if they start to defend themselves or promise to change for the better to prolong the relationship. If you have decided to end it, do NOT let your partner negotiate with you.

13. Solve Existing Issues Between You Both

You should be open about any hurt they have caused you. Encourage your partner to be honest as well. All the issues that have been swept under the rug should be talked about and sorted once and for all. Cry if you need to; it is good for your emotional health.

Let go of emotional baggage – this will help you both. Explain your side and point of view. This will not only allow you both to part on good terms but also provide closure.

14. Don’t Blame Them

Don’t try to play the blame game. You can change your mind if you want to and make different decisions than the ones you made in the past. Accept responsibility and don’t overcompensate for your reasoning. Explain how difficult the situation is for everyone involved.

Yes, you will hurt the other person, but the hurt is part of the healing process. Don’t try to control their behavior or reaction – they are entitled to it. If you are not able to accept them for who they are, don’t blame them for that.

15. Ask If You Both Can Still Be Friends

It is possible to be friends with an ex-lover. What is important is both of the parties should be aware that what is done is done, and there are boundaries now that shouldn’t ever be crossed again. If they want to stay friends, tell them that you need some time away for now. Take the time you need to heal and learn to adjust to a life without one another.

Keeping in contact after a breakup only leads to confusion – are you just being friendly or do you still care about them? If they do not want to be friends with you, that is perfectly fine as well. Remove them from your social network sites and delete their contact number.

16. Focus On The Future

It may be difficult to understand how breaking up is the best thing to do, but if you discuss it and focus on how you both can benefit from it, it may be easier for you to move on. If you naturally get back together later, that is awesome, but don’t force it. Sometimes, you may need a little space and time to forget why you broke up in the first place. This is true whether you both are high-school sweethearts or BFFs turned lovers.

Often, people grow apart because they are too young. But as you both get older, you come to your senses and can rationalize like an adult about what happened between you. That’s why it is important to not focus on the past. It is done with, and there is no need to cry about what could have been done differently.

17. Get Rid Of Things That Remind You Of Him

Avoid overthinking and putting yourself through emotional trauma. Get rid of the things that remind you of your ex. Throw the love letters away or ask a friend to store them for you. Delete any romantic posts and photos on Facebook or Instagram.

18. Don’t Blame Yourself For Breaking Up

Yes, you were the one to decide to break up, but why is that a bad thing? Feeling pain and loss is completely normal. But it isn’t okay to feel guilty even months after the breakup. Be proud that you were adult enough to take it upon yourself to move on.

19. Enjoy Your Alone Time

Don’t rush into other relationships. You are single and ready to mingle. However, this doesn’t mean you should. It is up to you to decide how much time you need to heal before you take a chance at love again. While you can get it on with a rebound, it is better that you don’t. This will in no way help you to move on.

Prioritize yourself. Go out with your friends to have fun, but reject any romantic advances. Focus on yourself for now. Spend quality time with your family and friends. Read that book you have been meaning to or learn a new language. Try learning to play a new instrument. Stay busy and be happy.

20. Fill Your Life With Other Things You Love

Keep busy, even if it inherently makes you want to crawl back into bed. Emotion-focused coping doesn’t get rid of the issue, but it does distract you briefly from stress. Watching your favorite movie, indulging in comfort foods, going for a run, or doing a fun activity can help you get back on track. It will keep you feeling happier and emotionally balanced, and you can focus on making bigger changes.

In het begin is elke relatie spannend. Je kunt niet wachten om je bae te zien, en het voelt geweldig om te weten dat ze hetzelfde over jou denken. De dingen beginnen echter te veranderen naarmate koppels elkaar beter leren kennen. Sommigen vestigen zich in een hechte, comfortabele relatie, terwijl anderen uit elkaar drijven.

Mensen gaan om vele redenen uit elkaar - en uit elkaar groeien is er een van. Misschien maken jullie allebei te veel ruzie of willen jullie niet dezelfde dingen in het leven. Wat de reden ook mag zijn, zorg ervoor dat de stappen die u neemt om de relatie te beëindigen de ziel van de ander niet breken. Doe het met liefde en positiviteit, en wie weet, ooit zal dit iets zijn waarop je met liefde en genegenheid zult terugkijken. Al het beste!